The Law of Energy

By | 3:21 AM Leave a Comment
        My dad told my mom he doesn’t love her anymore. I knew something was up because their fights are loud and usually last a long time. This was no longer than 10 min. She came into my room and I asked her what had happened. She told me what he said with a smile on her face. The kind of pained smile you never want to see on your mom’s face, or just anyone you love. She was trying so hard. That’s the smile you get when you’re trying to hold yourself together with all your will. There’s nothing happy about it. It’s that Jack-o-lantern you see after its night of use has gone. The smile is still there but the light is out. The fire has been blown out by someone. I wonder why we seem to always give one person the power to destroy us during our lifetime. 
         She’s an amazing person and that overused and abused adjective is an understatement for her. She’s strong. After all the things that have happened with her and the man she loves, she still believes in a happy ending. She believes that true love exists for everyone. She doesn't understand why I don’t.  I don’t believe because I've seen pictures of them together when they were young and “in love”. They were pictures taken without them knowing. I miss those days where moments seemed to be captured in the raw. You should have seen the love in their eyes. I could feel it, I could see it, I believed. I stole those pictures from my mom. I knew that whatever that spark in their eyes was all those years before they had us kids were long gone. I know I’m not to blame but I can’t help but feel like things could have been different for them if I hadn't been born. 
           I don’t believe because from things she’s told me, they had a love like The Notebook. And now all of that is gone. How can someone seize to stop loving? Either you never loved that person or love isn’t as strong as what it’s meant to be. I choose the first option. Because I want to believe that no matter how rare, something like love exists for couples. But most of us are doomed. It’s pretty clear from all the couples that I’ve grown up around or encountered at one point that feelings change. The present is all we have and that’s just a fleeting moment. You can only be sure of how you feel right now. And even then sometimes it’s highly complicated. I’m not saying I’m right or that I even know what I’m talking about. I know so many people that are always sure about how they feel and that doesn’t change. But the lamentable truth is that our emotions are not set in stone. It can change and it will. I think only true love stays but all other emotions are energies of what has been, what is, and what will be. Someone who once made me believe they loved me and then left me like I meant nothing said to me, “Emotions are everything babe”. Ponder that.
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